I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize