I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
