i can't believe i had my finger in that
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
