based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
