17 year olds will be the death of me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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