FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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