Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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