Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
