Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If I die, sorry about rent.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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