My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
