I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I looked at my own cervix.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
