He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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