You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
40s are totally the cure
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
