Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
