so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
