Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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