Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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