Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
