Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
