Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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