I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
