No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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