The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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