I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
