you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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