STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
