just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
