WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
im on a boat
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