we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
