i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
