My liver just broke up with me...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
