Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
