your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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