i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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