Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
