If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
