have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
