so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
