Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
