Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
