I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
