he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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