i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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