Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
