i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
