he referred to my room as the tit cave...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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