Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
