i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
there was a trapeze. enough said
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
