Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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