he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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