Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
