We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
