i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
