Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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