Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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