dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
