No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
