people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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