dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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