Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
