I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
