I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
