I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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