do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
