Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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