I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
