I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
