I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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