This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
