So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
