Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I deserve this hangover.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
