so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
