Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
