Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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