my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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