Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
